


Closer To The Sun

by Faithssweettea



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Artwork Inspired, Canon Compliant, Diasuga being great Senpais, Domestic KageHina, Established Relationship, Fluff, Friendship study, Happy Ending, Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio Friendship, Hinata can’t cook, How do you spell Hinata's name?, I got beta readers yay, IDK what other tags, Ice Cream Dates, KageHina - Freeform, Kagehina bainrot, Kagehina-friendship, Kinda relationship study, M/M, Not beta-read, One Shot, Pro Volleyball Player Hinata Shouyou, Pro Volleyball Player Kageyama Tobio, They are older in this, Timeskip kagehina, Tokyo Spring Olympics, VOLLEYBALL NERDS, emotionally constipated Kags, faithssweattea, first work don’t bully me, ft kags cool apartment and my interior design skills, hinata best boy, hinata shouyou - Freeform, i love them, it’s only angst at first, kageyama tobio - Freeform, lots of fluff, me projecting, no really he won best boy, okay I lie there is some angst all over, one-shot baby, ptsd warning, season 1 had a big influence on this, slight angst, slight panic attack warning, some of my kagehina headcanons, sunshine hinata, vision impairment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29941857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faithssweettea/pseuds/Faithssweettea
Summary: When a life-altering accident occurs; Tobio goes partially blind and his vision gets better over time. Hinata stays with him through it. Basically, Hinata sunshine Kageyama blinded.“Every day I wake up closer to the sun”Tobio turns in bed feeling the heat of the light on his cheeks. As he settles a bright mist of orange looms in front of him.Hinata’s hairKageyama similes warmlyWith a low voice, he whispers, “Every day I wake up closer to the sun.”
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Kudos: 20
Collections: Works inspired by beautiful art





	1. Closer to the Sun

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired art by @/hiya_class  
> I saw her artwork and it inspired me to write this!  
> Check out her amazing art [here](https://mobile.twitter.com/hiya_cass/status/830522456469360640?lang=en)
> 
> I also created a Pinterest board for visuals, nothing too fancy. It’s not pinpoint what I describe just an idea and helpful if you are confused! Check it out [here](https://pin.it/6olCZ5b)  
> I don’t have a playlist for this AU maybe another time but I suck at playlists haha
> 
> Lastly, this AU is set in the summertime after the Olympics where Kagehina wins gold! (ik that isn’t completely accurate but for the purposes of the story let’s ignore it) I liked the idea of them both worrying about losing each other after “fulfilling” their promise so that’s where the inspiration comes from!
> 
> That said sorry, I ramble ~ I really enjoyed making this AU it was great therapy. I am a big Kagehina stan and even more for their friendship so without further ado enjoy:)

“Kageyama-San?”

“Kageyama-San?”

Kageyama was startled out of his thoughts, jumping at the mention of his name. The doctor tried to regain his attention. He couldn’t help but zone out with the doctor using all these important but boring terms, saying nothing he wanted to hear. He wanted to hear that it was all a dream. While his sight was not gone, if you pinched him he would wake up at home getting ready for summer training. Morning air brushing against his nose seems to be yet another normal day. The lacing of his trainers ready for the daily morning jog. It had become an important part of his routine, allowing him to clear his mind before the day, filled with packed interviews and practices.

The air was thick and overwhelmingly smelling of disinfectants and fabric spray. The room he was placed in smelled more of fried take-out and lavender, a combination you didn’t smell often. A product from the take-out they got from across the street. Kageyama felt a slight migraine, but he couldn’t tell if it was from where Hinata picked up the food or because he had been crying for ten hours.

Kageyama regained consciousness feeling like the clasp on his ring finger was too tight. He turned to hold a coffee in between his hands. Fiddling with his nicely pedicured nails. His hair was brushed and his hospital gown was pressed neatly against his skin. For someone who lost part of their perception, he looked very put together. As if nothing happened at all. That certainly was not the case. As the doctor finished up, Kageyama released a heavy breath.

“Yes, he’s ok. Yes, Sugawara-san. Yes, well, I’ll let him know” Hinata said, nodding. He stood off to the side taking a call from Suga who called as soon as he heard the news.

“Yes, really a few scratches, nothing our Kageyama can’t handle” He glanced a smile in his direction. Hoping to ease the tension in the air. “Okay, actually we are leaving toda- alright bye now tell the children I said hello- alright. Thank you.” Hinata hung up placing his phone in his pocket as he walked over to Kags.

“Suga and Daichi send their support” Kageyama looked up to the sudden sound. The weight of voice immediately recognized as Hinatas’. He nodded not knowing what else to say.

Hinata smiled. He placed a hand on Kageyama’s shoulder, reassuring him of his presence. The doctor began to tell Hinata Kageyama's conditions. Kageyama couldn't help but scoff at the idea of hearing it again. He was grateful for a small moment that he didn’t have to see Hinata’s frown. Hinata is the type to change the entire energy of the room with just one movement or comment. It was the highlight of his personality but for this, it wasn’t what Kageyama wanted. Kageyama honed in his other thoughts of all the things he now couldn’t do. Or thought he couldn’t do.

“So he can’t see?” Hinata said, sounding more concerned than Kageyama expected. He tuned into the conversation hearing the strain in Hinata’s voice. His voice reflected something undetectable. _Why is he so upset?_

“Yes well only temporarily. A condition of sudden vision loss that includes eye trauma, blockage of blood flow to or from the retina. It’s common with what he experienced from the accident. We just are lucky that it’s not permanent or loss of memory.” Hinata’s eyes widened at that realization. He took a moment of understanding, nodding and thanking the doctor. As he was just about to dismiss him, Kageyama cleared his throat to speak, having to regain his posture.

“How long until- I-I can see again?” voice hoarse. Everyone faced him, taking that he was indeed in the room. The doctor adjusted his glasses. Pushing against the frame; a nervous tick.

“Well we don’t have a set date but at least a few months or some years. It’s different for everyone. It shouldn’t affect you too much but we will give you any medicine for pain. It won’t speed up the process but it will help any headaches.” Kageyama winced.

A few years? To months. Not affect me too much. What does that even mean? He can’t see. He didn’t know how everyone could be so calm he couldn’t see the hands in front of him. His eyes refused to focus, mocking him with agony. Everyone’s sound was amplified and a dim light peered at him from every angle. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes. A swirl of thoughts clouded his head.

Hinata took note of the change in Kageyama’s mood taking control of the conversation.  
“Will he be able to play volleyball this summer? And is there anything else we should know?”

“Yes, he can still play. I wouldn’t suggest he practice professionally, just recreational. There are many vision-impaired teams in the area I can recommend.” Kageyama didn’t want to play on the vision-impaired team, he _wanted_ to get his vision back, he wanted to play against Hinata in the fall. Nothing about this was fair.

“Although he won’t be able to see completely for quite some time… he should slowly begin to see colors or blurry shapes. That’s normal and is a good sign. From what we took earlier he can see spots of light. Like maybe the color of hair or a redshirt.” Hinata chuckled lightly under his breath, thinking about Kageyama being only able to see a blurred orange being his hair.

It was true. Kageyama could see spots of lights. Little balls of color stood in every area when he glanced around. Almost like when you first wake up and the sun seems to be clouding your vision. Particles of furniture coming into view focusing on the object’s lines and curves. But his sight never adjusted. Everything stayed blurry in this frozen state. He had the urge to shake his head or rub his eyes in an attempt to fix it.

After talking with the doctors and getting the okay to head home Hinata took Kageyama in a wheelchair, rolling the setter through the parking lot. Kageyama hadn’t said anything since the doctor left. His throat was dry, his brain too busy trying to comprehend what was no more. Dread circled in his stomach, making loops and knots that made him squeamish. Anxiety making a rather comfortable home in his body.

They sat in the car staring blankly ahead. Hinata took a deep breath. He placed a bright smile on his lips perking up.

“Hinata”

“Hmm”

“What are you doing?”

“What do you mean?”

Kageyama sighed not really wanting to explain. He wanted Hinata to read his mind. He didn’t know whether he wanted him to give him a hug or leave. His mood was sour and Hinata was too perky. He never really did change. He wanted to get this over with soon as possible.

“I mean why are you so happy? We kept our promise and now I can’t see so-”

His breath hitched. This was harder to say than he thought. Hinata turned to face him but Kageyama still faced front.

“There is no need to stick around” Kageyama's words came out harsh lingering in the air. Immediately wanting to take it back and sink into the ground. It hurt Hinata, more than neither of them cared to admit.

Hinata deflated taking in his words before replying. Normally Hinata would speak without thinking. He was always quick to reply with Kageyama following up with a snarky comment. That’s how they were. It was quieter than what they were used to. Their friends would not have believed it was them in this car if they saw them right now. But this time Hinata seemed to put more thought into his words.

Hinata took a second before speaking, thinking of his response. Choosing carefully what to say. Honestly, Kageyama didn’t know how he felt about that.

“Well yeah but if I leave then who would help you get the correct brand of milk you like!” Hinata said grinning with his eyes closed. Sure of his answer. Kageyama let out a grunt in response. It was a pretty light response to the tense air. It was as if Hinata knew exactly what to say. _When did he pick that up?_

Boke

He faced the window to avoid the ray of light he could see. The sight was stunning really but Kageyama would rather die than tell Hinata he looked pretty even in his state. Almost blinding, Kageyama continued with his head facing the window pretending to look out of it. Hinata backed out and drove back to Kageyama's apartment. Completely oblivious of his own effect.

Kageyama thought about how they promised to keep up with each other in a never-ending race. A promise that was made so long ago when they were first years. It was strange. Why would he help me? What’s his motive? This is crazy. It’s not like we’re married and he’s obligated to stay to my side so why? At this uncertainty, Kageyama only grew more frustrated; he decided to push the thought back as his headache was growing worse. He just wanted to play volleyball; it was his way of releasing.

When he was younger, still innocent, playing with his grandfather, his thoughts never wandered to such a despondent place. He played consistently, enjoying every bit of time he was allowed. Oh, what he would do to go back. _To see him._

He leaned further back in his seat letting his eyes close gently as he drifted off to sleep.

_______________

After a short hour, they arrive back at Tobio’s apartment. It was small on the 2nd floor up. Hinata rented one not far but was barely there because of how much training they did. Kageyama was the same. They spent lots of time together over the past few months with training, morning runs, and spur-of-moment ice cream trips. It all seemed so out of Tobio’s reach now. Is that something Hinata would leave for? Would he not come around as much? 

Tobio’s stomach ached. He wasn’t used to all this anxiety and uneasiness. 

This sucks 

Like a lot 

Hinata rounded the car helping Kageyama get out which wasn’t much because all Kags did was shoo away his hand in return. Hinata chuckled at the setter. He really was stubborn but strong. One of the things he admired him for, making his eyes shimmer. Kageyama refused to use the Kane recommended by the doctor. He would have his vision back soon; he didn’t need things that he would only throw out later. 

They made their way to the elevator _clumsily_. Earning stares from people, Hinata shuffled his feet as the door closed. He pressed the button with Kageyama slumped beside him. That was not as tiring as he last remembered it. The only sound that could be heard was Hinata’s faint hum. It was almost comforting. Kageyama’s eyebrows furrowed wearing his usual uptight expression. 

Hinata glanced at him and grinned cheesily. He took a deep breath looking at him, turned, then looked again. Kageyama hadn’t noticed the boy’s exaggeration. 

_oh, he can’t see me right._

As reading Hinata’s mind Kageyama spoke.

“What Boke, I can sense you moving?” 

“Nothing” 

“...”

“It’s just aghh your expression it’s so grumpy. We're not in high school anymore you can try to wear a smile every now and then.” Hinata said, poking at his arm. Kageyama grimaced.

He didn’t respond right away. 

“Shut up, not everyone can be a ball of sunshine all the time.” He replied mumbling the last part.

“What was that? I didn’t hear you”

“Nothing. Besides if I smile all the time it wouldn’t even make sense. What are you even smiling at?” Kageyama said mockingly. Hinata only smiled more pulling him out of the elevator as it opened. Satisfied with the usual teasing that often provoked Kageyama’s response. Hinata took it as a win. 

Kageyama shuttered. Ah, he had to move again.

“Smile at the sky because it might smile back” 

“I don’t even know what that means,” Kageyama groaned but he grinned slightly at the comment. Hinata was still his usual self. He never really changed much besides from the obvious. He was more confident courtesy of Basil, he was taller (still not taller than Kageyama but still), in fact, he laughed and smiled more but then again they just won gold at the Olympics for Japan! Kageyama liked that Hinata was strong, a worthy opponent. He was there. 

Tobio let himself be dragged down the hallway having no energy to fight back. He felt a bit of familiarity but he couldn’t quite make out everything. It was frustrating. The bright lights almost made it hard to sense the ground below him. Like he was being pulled into a white mist of clouds that were bright and smelled of air salonpas. They must have reached the door because he heard a rattle of keys being jammed into the lock. 

Time really seemed so much slower when you couldn’t see. Taking in every motion and sway. Every sound and feeling intensified. It would be calming to some but not to Kageyama who wanted nothing more than to be on the court practicing. Tossing volleyballs in the air feeling the flick of his wrist and the way the ball sat comfortably in his hands. He pondered at the idea of setting right now.

His deep thought broke when he was roughly pulled into the apartment. Cool air hitting his face. 

Hinata placed the keys in a bowl next to the door. Locking the door behind Kags. The apartment wasn’t super big, it was a good size for one person. Reasonably the boys made a good amount of money from sports. They were pretty well off and were able to provide for themselves. That said the apartment had a modern/industrial feel to it. Exposed bricks and a darker color pallet really suited the setter’s aesthetic. The kitchen was located to the left of the entrance with a small hallway leading to the bedrooms. Both bedrooms had an ensuite with a view of Tokyo city. It was beautiful and even more beautiful at night time. The apartment glowed with orange and yellow hues illuminating the rooms with a soft glow. 

Hinata took a deep breath drooping where his hand was holding onto Kageyama’s arm to guide him. He placed his hand on his hip with a big smile.

“Ok Bakeyama what you wanna do now?” Hinata said eyes peering up at him. Kageyama rubbed at his eyes in exhaustion. He yarned taking in the events from the day.

“I don’t know Boke. I’m really tired” Kageyama muttered, taking a step forward, placing both his hands in front of him to balance himself. Hinata reacted, holding out his hand to help. 

“You want me to guide you to bed?” He said worriedly as he watched the setter struggle to take steps towards that direction. 

_His tone had changed so quickly._

“No n-no op- I can do it myself.” He said stubbornly. Hinata shrugged, whispering an ‘ok’ as he continued to guide behind him. After a few short waists pushes from Hinata, Kageyama was able to make it to bed with no injuries. It took longer of course but he eventually got there passing out as soon as his head hit the pillow. Hinata giggled lightly. 

He closed the door gently leaving a crack so he could hear when Kageyama awoke. It was silent in the apartment only the gentle breeze from the wind and cars outside echoed through the rooms. Hinata took a drink from the fridge as he flopped on the couch clicking through the tv. The events from the day caught up with Hinata as well as he dozes off. Mouth vaguely open with a languid snore. 

_______________

The air was humid with drops of rain falling down. It wasn’t pouring but enough to make you stop your activity and head inside before it got worse. Yet the weight of the feet and the sound of shallow breaths didn’t slow its pace. Kageyama picked up his speed as he rounded the corner to the convenience store. 

_I’ll stop here for some water. Maybe turn around before the rain picks up._

It was dark which didn’t come to much of a surprise as it was the evening after the 2020 Summer Olympics. Kageyama takes a sip of water from his water bottle, letting the cold water coat his throat. The humid air dancing around his temples as he bends over trying to let whatever bit of air into his lungs.

The sound of cars passing by reminds him of a faint headache from earlier. The memory of the day subsided as he began to jog back to his apartment. But Kageyama found himself continuing straight in the opposite direction. He wasn’t as sweaty as he usually is and taking that he just played a good game you would think he would want to rest and celebrate. 

Kageyama couldn’t tell you why he was running. He could probably say it was because he was too excited and couldn’t get the jitters out. Truthfully that wouldn’t be a lie. But it seems he was running from something or _someone_ rather than a jog to clear his head. The wind picked up, the cars splashing against the leftover rain puddles grew louder. 

_Was I supposed to turn here or make a left?_

The bright lights, the honking that was muffled by a woman’s voice. Everything went dark. Blinding. 

“Kageyama?” 

_Wait, was that Hinata?_

Kageyama shifted to the other side of the bed bringing his hands to his head. Woke up panting- maybe sweating he couldn’t really recall. He felt the softness of a sheet under him and the coldness of the air coming in from the open window. 

It wasn’t raining 

The breeze flew by him as he made a step towards the floor. Almost immediately forgetting, he fell, hands rushing towards him catching himself. A loud thud bounced off the walls of the apartment. 

“Dammit” _Why is everything so dark? It’s so cold and where my- no I’m not dreaming_

_It almost feels like- “_ Hinata?” broken sobs escaped from Kegeyama’s mouth. Curse words spewing out trying to hold back the sudden anger and sadness he felt. Everything was going so fast but nothing was happening at all. The clock was moving forwards and backward all at the same time.

_It almost feels lik-_

“Please someone” He never heard his voice make that sound. It made him angry. It hadn’t felt this since that day almost 15 years ago when his only person lay cold. Or the moment his supposed teammates left him alone in the dark. 

“Somebody who’s even better will come and find you. I promise-” 

“Hinata please” Everything in Kageyama poured out. He felt the wetness under his fingers as he cried for someone, something to make every pain in his body go away. As if he felt the crash just then, like it all suddenly hit him at 4 am. 

_Why does it hurt so much? Why am I remembering all this now? Please someone hel-_

“Kageyama? Hey Kags” Hinata rushed from behind the corner gathering Kageyama in his arms. Trying to hold him as tight as possible but not too hard as if he would slip away and crumble. He whispered ‘what happened’ but no response. Just another escaping sob soaking the front of Hinata’s shirt. He didn’t remember tears a few moments ago but the stained tear tracks showed evidence on his cheeks. 

“I’m here” Hinata whispered into Kageyama’s hair. “I’m here, and I’m so sorry kags” 

Hinata wiped the tears and pressed his palms on Kageyama’s shoulders. ‘This is all my fault’ Kageyama reacted lowering his shoulders and unclenching his teeth. His body screamed from how tense he was. They pushed together in fear of something suddenly pulling them apart.

_Why now?_

Hinata ran a warm bath and finished cleaning up the rest of his stuff. Taking care of the apartment as Kageyama rested. He felt tired but he didn’t do anything. He didn’t condition, he hadn’t stepped foot in the gym, yet his body ached and his heart-felt the heaviest it did in years. Silence overtook the flat while they went about their new routine. In an effort to forget the recent episode. 

Hinata placed two bowls of ramen on the table as they settled to eat. 

“It’s Ramen. I didn’t have much time to make anything else. I was in a rush.” Kageyama began eating slowly but still managed. He let out a sigh. Hinata frowned siping from his water. 

“I’m sorry, I was getting my stuff to stay with you for a while,” Hinata said, trying to clear the silence. Kageyama’s fist around his fork clenched. He was upset but at what? Hinata? He didn’t want to yell at him. It wasn’t his fault what happened. He had been there for him, he always has. Hinata was never afraid to say what he felt. He cared for everyone, never standing down from a challenge. So with no clear motive, he challenged him. 

“Why are you apologizing?” Kageyama hissed. “It’s not your fault I-” 

Hinata of course challenged back.

“I shouldn’t have left you alone. Stop being so stubborn and let’s just eat okay.” To be honest they didn’t know what they were arguing about. The Ramen, earlier, Hinata staying over, or maybe just the whole situation itself. Moments never felt so strained or rather this fragile. That wasn’t true though. 

Things between Kageyama and Hinata have always been strained. Always been on the verge of a fight or dispute. That was promised with their butting personalities but of course, is what made them such great partners and rivals. This on the other hand was different. Confound. It wasn’t what they were used to. The last time they felt this unsure between each other was when they both kept their new opportunities from one another. Hinata not telling Tobio about Brazil and Kageyama not telling Hinata about the Adlers. It wasn’t on purpose. They didn’t mean to disclude each other, it was no secret but instead, something unsaid. 

Just like this very moment. Unsaid. A conversation not being pursued. Only this time they were older and should be able to work out their unsaid endeavors. 

“You know you don’t have to stay boke. I can take care of myself for the next few weeks. I am not a baby.” Kageyama said, shoveling the last of his food. Food seemed to taste better now that his brain focused on it. It eased the anxiety he felt. 

“I know. I’m not saying you are. I just- look like I said stop being stubborn. I wanna stay ok” Pushing down whatever guilt he was now feeling. It said more like a statement as if he was demanding like most things Hinata does but it almost sounded like he was pleading; asking. 

Kageyama didn’t really know how to respond nor have the energy to argue back. He knows more than anyone if Hinata says he wants to do something he’s gonna do it, no questions asked. Kageyama didn’t always like the feeling of depending on anyone and he didn’t. He didn’t rely or depend on Hinata for this, he never had. He wanted him there with him through this. If it has to be anyone it should be Hinata, he told himself. He trusts him. Besides, he would be helpful, a nice noise to drown out all the unwelcome thoughts Kageyama was having. 

_‘It’s gonna be okay_ ’ he said to himself. A mantra he picked up over the years of training. 

Of living with his everyday fears.

“Whatever Boke” He replied scooping up his trash and getting ready to place it in the sink. 

“No, I got it!” Hinata rushed to his side, taking his dishes and cleaning them. Kageyama dragged his feet to the couch. Keeping a steady pace recognizing the furniture in the room. Hinata joined him grabbing the remote to turn on a movie. As a movie played Kageyama listened to music not really caring for what was playing on the screen anyway. He liked listening to Hinata’s faint giggle whenever something funny appeared to be happening. 

The night faded on both boys falling asleep and waking up to gather their things and retreating to their respective rooms. Hinata slept in the guest room that was supposed to be reserved for an office but was never quite finished as Kageyama was never home, most of the time he lived in Tokyo. It stuck out from the rest of the apartment’s darker theme. Except for the red brick on the left wall when you walked in. A lamp, one single bedside table, a worn-down frame, and a mattress were the only pieces of furniture really in the room. Hinata didn’t mind. His apartment was never less the same. The other walls were white not painted with the matching dark grey of the other rooms. 

It felt warm to him. In contrast to his dark home with the light bedroom, it felt like the lighter part of Kageyama that no one ever really saw. Only Hinata was really allowed there, only he was allowed in this space. In a place, Kageyama never allowed anyone in or no one ever got the chance to be in. 

The apartment was filled with snores as the boys drifted comfortably back to sleep resting in what had been the most eventful week.

_______________

The resting weight of the covers making itself known as Kageyama rolls over to his side. Head and nose hitting the pillow that was sprawled out. A frustrated groan erupting from Kageyama as he picked his head up. He faced the curtains that hadn’t been closed the previous night. The sun was bright and casting directly into the room. Its dark features are highlighted. The sun reminded the setter to get up on his daily run and head to training. But today all Kegeyama wanted to do was lay in bed. 

He placed a steady foot on the ground taking aware of his surroundings. The sound of sizzling almost startled him when he remembered that it was Hinata who must be in the kitchen. Making his next movements, a slight headache came as he smelled bacon. He almost wanted to smile listening to the humming coming from Hinata. It wasn’t super early yet his brightness amazed him. 

It wasn’t hard to feel every sense spewing through his body. With the gentle feeling of his skin rubbing against his clothes, to the weight of his feet on the floorboards, to the brush of air as he opened the door to the kitchen. Kageyama made his way through the hallway holding onto the walls while rubbing at his head. He must have slept in the same clothes from yesterday cause he felt warm in his sweatpants and an old karasuno tee. 

Trudging down the hallway Kageyama sat down at the barstool yarning. Hinata turned whipping the spatula he held with him. 

“Good morning grumpyama, how you sleep?” Kageyama groaned in reply, already used to the nicknames. 

“Fine, I guess. What are you making? You can’t cook” Kageyama said, snarling, voice mocking. Hinata smiled in return. He liked how Kageyama was. He’d been like that for years and he didn’t want him to change. It left a warm feeling in both the boys' hearts. Even though they wouldn’t dare to admit that. It was a silent agreement. 

“I’m making eggs-um benedict. I found this recipe one of my American friends from Brazil showed me. I’m not sure I’m doing it right through.” He said staring down at the crumpled recipe on the counter. As Hinata whispered confused directions to himself, Kageyama shook his head and cleared the headache from his head. That has been a recent habit. 

“Can we just order something? I'm hungry” Kageyama said, not making much motion to grab his phone. 

“Yeah sure. That might be a better idea.” Hinata cleaned up the mess he made forking down the kinda burnt bacon. “Why don’t we go out instead, see the city” 

“Yeah, whatever” Kageyama muttered. He didn’t really know if he had the energy to go out. But he didn’t want to pass up the chance to spend time with Hinata like they usually did. He missed their ice cream runs. Hinata nodded happily, stirring to gather his things. Kageyama followed suit getting ready. 

_______________

“Where are we going boke?” Kageyama said as they stepped off the train. Hinata didn’t respond too focused on getting them to their destination. He giggled mischievously on arrival at the entrance. The pavement was felt under Kageyama’s feet as they walked. The air was gentle and the morning sun was blurred. Not as bright as earlier. It provided light for their small detour from breakfast. 

“I thought we were going to eat? Hinata where are you taking me?” Kageyama sighed “This isn’t funny” Hinata smiled holding tightly to Kags’ hand. He squeezed it lightly, in an attempt to calm Tobios's nerves. He wanted him to trust him.

“Hey don’t ignore me Hi-” 

“Okay, we’re here!” Hinata said. He guided Kageyama to a bench and stood in the grass. Shuffling the volleyball in his hand. He admired the surroundings. It really was a beautiful day. There weren't many people out just a few going on walks and jogs. Some moms pushing kids in strollers and dogs barking at whatever persuaded them. Hinata took a nervous breath. 

“Where are we?” Kageyama asked. He could take a guess but something in him wanted to hear Hinata say it. 

“Okay I know we're supposed to be at breakfast but I thought- please don’t get mad ok. You seem like you- well hmm” Hinata stuttered over his words trying to find the best way to explain himself. He looked at Kageyama. He stared blankly at him waiting, wearing his usual scrawl. He really was impatient. Kageyama didn’t understand why Hinata was so nervous. It was obvious what he was trying to do. Why would he be mad about it? He never got mad at Hinata's request before. 

“Just say it boke” 

“You're in a park. I was trying to surprise you with volleyball. Maybe if you played you might feel better about the whole thing. But now that I think of it you might be more upset than happy.” He rambled, mumbling the last part under his breath. 

“How am I supposed to play Hina-”

“I know! It’s just if you saw how good you can be still, it could make you feel better. I mean you're the king you can do anything.” Hinata said, convinced. Kageyama let out an exasperated sigh, making the motion to stand up. Hinata had taken them to a park that was only thirty minutes on a train. It was full of green grass with flowers outlining the pathways. Trees sprinkled the park that changed with each passing season. The temperature was warm and appropriate for summer. The air breeze was gentle grazing the back of their necks. Like clouds floating past the sun. It really was a perfect day to go to the park and Hinata was not gonna let it slip away. It was almost like they were back in Miyagi practicing. 

“Fine I’ll try but if a ball lands on my face I’m blaming you.” He said. Hinata only nodded smiling up at the setter. He placed the ball in Kageyama’s hand guiding him to the middle of the grass.

“It’s okay if you fall on grass,” Kageyama nodded. “Oh and don’t worry about tossing to me just get used to the ball” Kageyama nodded. “And its-”

“Hey, are you gonna let me play or not?” Kageyama said, letting out an airy chuckle. He repeated the same mantra in his head. 

_It’s gonna be okay_

Hinata gave Kageyama the ball letting him trace the familiarity of the ball. It still felt comfortable in his hands and gave him a warm feeling he missed. He smiled wiping tears that threatened to fall. Taking a step back and adjusting himself, positioning his feet how he would on the court, Kageyama tossed the ball up waiting to hear it fall over him. But there was no sound, not even a brush of air to inform him of the ball’s location. He looked back wanting to know where the ball had gone. _What happened?_

Kageyama took a second slumping his hands back to his side. Almost defeated, he clenched his fist now cursing the swirl of emotions that crept in his stomach. His heart thumped against his chest making a jarring noise in his ears. The ball had disappeared in a void of nothingness. It couldn’t be heard or seen. It wasn’t like before years ago on the court when no one was there to catch it. No, not even the ball was there it all seemed to be so unknown like it was just a fragment of his imagination in the first place. 

What was this feeling? Was it anger or disappointment? Immediately taking this into account Kageyama began to cry but before his lips could tremble in response a faint noise came into earshot.

“ -o I got it, man that was really far almost got stuck in a tree!” Hinata said dusting the ball off. “Here okay let’s try this again but this time we should try pushing the ball up using your legs, arms, and hands. I watched this lady do it on Youtube she said it should help when you can’t see” 

Kageyama looked in Hinata’s direction welling up. He let out a breath sobering up. He laughed at Hinata's inability to ’read the room’. He never really did change. Shaking off the recent episode, the storm in his stomach eased, as Hinata placed the ball back in his hands, making him trace the lines of the ball and listen to every bit of sound. He made himself aware of everything the ball could possibly land on. The damp grass from the rain, the cars zooming past, and the rustling of trees. Everything became known to the setter. He felt comfortable with the warmth of Hinata’s hands on his waist, guiding him in a more suited stance. The darkness that he felt earlier faded into a more appealing light. 

Hinata smiled whispering encouraging words. He knew Kageyama could do it. He knew nothing in the whole world could stop him from being the greatest setter possible. He would beat this. He would beat this and become even better. Hinata was sure of it. 

Kageyama tried again tossing the ball up towards the clouds and letting it fall gracefully back into his waiting hands. The dark void disappeared into a sea of clear skies. It was easier and the toss was almost perfect. He continued, making the toss repeating itself over and over till each one was better than the last. Hinata beamed next to him, not saying anything to disrupt the setter’s concentration. It was an endless game of tosses. A simple toss that Kageyama could repeat in his sleep. But with his now impairment this was a big win. 

A small accomplishment that made him feel like everything was right again. That this wouldn’t be so bad in fact he could get a lot of awareness practice out of it. Feeling like they were on top of the world both boys left the park smiling, beaming with joy, Hinata bouncing and gushing about how great Kageyama was. Feeling confident Kageyama turned and tossed the ball back to Hinata aiming perfectly. Knowingly, Hinata caught it dripping with pride. They marched to their original destination both talking about all the new things they could try to pass the time. 

_‘He's right here’_

They both repeated

_______________

“Did you see Oikawa-san? He was so cool.” Hinata expressed, taking a sip from his water almost spilling it in excitement. The sounds of both boys’ voices drowning out the abandoned movie in the background as they carried a conversation about volleyball. Their conversations always flowed effortlessly when it came to the sport. It was always something they could talk about and debate for hours without getting bored. It was the love for the game that kept their friendship so strong. Even when they had been miles apart they could count on volleyball to be the topic during awkward calls. Kageyama and Hinata could both agree on just about anything about volleyball. 

Kageyama hummed in agreement, cradling the cup of tea Hinata had offered him for his headache. 

“I mean when we played for Karasuno I thought wow he’s really good, but now it’s like wmah,” Hinata said babbling on continuing to make more illegible sounds. Kageyama nodded in response, agreeing when appropriate. He didn’t mind listening to the red-haired man go on. It gave him a burning feeling in his chest and brought back a good memory of their earlier days. Like a cat cuddling up to a warm fire or a baby snuggled in their mother’s arms. They talked some more for hours, conversing about their past and current experiences. They did not however mention the night of the accident. 

_______________

The months went by both boys becoming comfortable in each other’s company. They learned how to try new things and relearn, adjust. They practiced card games and how to do an effective toss. Hinata learned how to make new recipes that helped Kageyama adjust to his taste. Every crunch savored reminding him he’s a texture eater. Hinata learned how to use colors and shapes to help with Kageyamas’ therapy. Both boys going through new motions together making the past few weeks less uncertain. The anxiety eased, dark clouds moving to disperse from the sun. Although Kageyama didn’t rely on Hinata, he was capable of doing all these things himself, it was nice to have someone who had been there through, most life-altering things in his life, being volleyball it only made sense that the two boys were latched onto each other. Finding curiosity and wonder in their new era. 

Kageyama still faced dread and doubt. He had moments wallowing the weeks that his vision was no longer the same and made no progress to get better. Hinata still tried his best to make him feel comforted. Distracting him from his thoughts with his bright laughter. Or trying to explain a funny tv show without laughing. He pushed Kageyama into trying yoga to help with awareness which introduced him to meditation. He traced the edges of his carpet as he listened to the soft waves of the ocean crashing against the shores. 

Hinata’s newfound love became karaoke nudging Kageyama out of his sleep with loud music. A neighbor even came by asking politely if they could keep it down. Leaving a very embarrassed Kageyama. They burst into a fit of laughter not being able to contain the sounds that erupt from their stomachs.

They went for a walk, the sky sporting pink and orange hues. Clearing their heads debating whether Tendo Satori and The Adlers’ Ushijima Wakatoshi were actually a good match being that they recently got married in Barbados. 

The energy between them was strained. Like a tug of war, a rope being balanced in the middle waiting for someone to pull it off-balanced. Both having things that were undiscussed. It wasn't much where it was tense or caused them to be uncomfortable around each other. Just something that resurfaced in their minds whenever it became too quiet. Kageyama wanted to express his feelings but not quite knowing how while Hinata wallowed in his guilt. Both eating at them like termites. Slowly, gradually but acted as a powder keg ready to blow up at any moment.

They rested comfortably against each other. Hinata is in between the couch pillows with Kageyama leaning against them. A blanket draped over both of them creating a cozy atmosphere.

Kageyama’s phone pinged on the coffee table in front of them. Creating a vibrating sound. Hinata reached to get it since he was the closest although Kags hadn't made much effort to respond. Hinata pulled up a message from Miwa, Kageyama's sister. She had asked him how he was feeling. Something they had been doing since she found out. At first, Kageyama didn't want to tell anyone he was sure he would be better in the course of a month. But the summer went on dragging out the setter's ambition. 

Hinata tapped Kageyama but the Blue-eyed boy didn’t respond. ‘He must be asleep’, Hinata thought while the low volume of the song ran through his earbuds. He placed the phone back on the table making a mental note to help Kageyama respond later. It’s what they've been doing; Hinata showing Kageyama the voice record button to send instead of typing out a whole message. Kageyama appreciated the help from Hinata otherwise he wasn’t sure he would have got through half of this without him. Kageyama had picked up things easily and was able to grasp them quickly but he still acted sometimes like he wanted Hinata to help him even though he would never admit it. The whole experience was something neither of them was familiar with but they continued to learn as they went. Accepting big mistakes and cheering for small victories. 

A few more weeks pass making it now august. The temperature not going much above 86 degrees. Both Kageyama and Hinata settled into their new adapted routines. Everything became so natural and pleasant. Life between the two felt like a honeymoon period in their friendship, a volcano that hasn't erupted in years. 

One morning after weeks of therapy and jam sessions, Kageyama still seeing only slightly better he stumbled down the hallway placing himself at the door of Hinata’s temporary room. Propping himself against the frame as he watched Hinata tie his shoes. He had been going on daily runs so that he wasn’t completely out of shape come fall. He secretly wanted to do more but didn’t want Kageyama to feel left out. They had been on several runs together but it was nowhere near what it needed to be to play properly. Kageyama had accepted Hinata going out to condition even offered him to go to the gym but only received ‘no worries’ in response. He didn’t understand why he would turn it down. It wasn’t his fault Kageyama couldn’t precipitate. 

The thought that Hinata got up to leave every morning to run made his heart twist but not in a jealous way. The feeling was possibly wistfulness. Wanting Hinata by his side when he made it down to the kitchen without tripping over his feet. Hinata would congratulate him without making him feel babied. That was a given as Kageyama could have become a little spoiled. He encouraged him and kept him hopeful throughout the past few months.

It was selfish but he didn’t want him to leave. _What if he never comes back._ The thoughts mocked him, filling him with anger. 

“We should talk,” Hinata looked up making eye contact. Seeing Kageyama's faded dopey smile caused his chest to tighten. He hated seeing his friend so pained. Hinata knew this conversation was long overdue; he just hoped he had more time.

“About what?” 

“Hinata” Kageyama took a sigh adjusting his hip that began to get sore with the way he was standing. “About that night. About what happened.” 

“Oh. Well yeah right um.” Hinata fiddled with his fingers looking for the right words. “So you were jogging and um you said you were gonna go for a run-”

“No, I mean What happened? With with us like I don’t remember much but I thought we talked before.” Kageyama’s expression showed frustration. He wanted to know what happened at the beginning. How he got to the point where he was running but forgot where he was going. What was he running from? 

Hinata didn't want to say. The truth is they hadn’t talked that night. Kageyama had vanished in the crowd shortly after making awkward eye contact with Hinata. Both players wanted to say something but not finding the words. Mouth dry and completely stunned, Hinata ran to catch up with Kageyama. He was there right behind him the whole time. Matching his strides and following his breath. 

He watched as Kageyama took the opposite route from his house, turning the corner to his vicissitude. Hinata wanted to tell him he was right there, ‘stop running and let me catch up’. He made the motion to scream but nothing came out. His throat closed up and his steps became heavier as if he was refusing to move. It was too late. Time stopped and the only sounds managing to escape was Hinata’s broken scream.

“Kageyama!” 

Guilt and concern welled inside him all at once. The racing inside caused his palms to sweat making the cold breeze from his forgotten jacket not seem so important. He felt annoyed at himself for not stopping him earlier. 

Finally, he let the words pass his lips. “I’m sorry” Hinata whispered under his breath.

“What? You weren't there. It’s not-” 

Once more, Hinata said, “I said I’m sorry” insisting Kageyama hear him clearly. He wanted to convey every emotion and ounce of repentance he was feeling. There were no short breaths or beating hearts. Hinata had exhausted himself trying to keep it all in. All the guilty feelings pouring out like a bucket being dumped. His breath felt like he just came up for air after a long period of just being _under_. 

But just like a candle he was relit waiting to have a light set for his flame. 

His eyebrows creased taking a step up towards Kageyama. He really had gotten taller reaching the setter's nose. 

“I don’t understand,” Kageyama said, still staring puzzlingly at Hinata. Hinata hadn’t been the one to get hurt or push him in front of the car. So why is he so upset? Why is he sorry? None of this made sense. Kageyama scanned his mind in a desperate attempt to understand. 

“Who hell think called the police?” Hinata exclaimed. “The person who hit you just drove away. I saw all of it Kags'' Hinata screamed more horrified with each word that shot from his throat. This was the first time he said it out loud. Everything that happened had affected him too which Kageyama failed to realize. 

Kageyama looked down, searching the floor for some answers. It started to make sense. Hinata had really been there catching up to him the whole time. Although the information only made him more upset. 

“Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you catch up? Or are you really still that slow after all these years.” Hinata's expression turned pained. They were used to throwing blows at each other during heated moments. So, in fact, something different caused his heart to tinge. 

“Because… because I thought you didn’t want me to. I thought you didn’t need me anymore. We won finally I thought that was it.” Hinata let out a sigh slumping back on the side of the bed. He was so tired; the yelling made his throat hurt. He wanted to take a long nap and never wake up. A tear slid down his cheek dropping on his shirt. 

Kageyama was stunned. He didn’t know Hinata had felt that way. Here Kageyama was hearing all these words he had repeated to himself a million times. He was scared of losing _me._ Kageyama didn’t know whether to be relieved or just laugh. Had they really been that dense this whole time? His eyes rimmed red taking a place next to Hinata. He took a moment to gather his thoughts. 

After a short moment, he spoke “I think I was running away” 

Hinata lifted his head, turning his attention towards Kageyama. “I thought _you_ didn’t need me anymore.” Kageyama turned, letting the warm brown of Hinata’s eyes ground him. 

Hinata smiled to himself pulling the setter closer into a hug. They let out faint chuckles completely engulfed in their silliness. No words needed to be said. They understood exactly what they hadn’t before. 

“Sorry for yelling at you Tobio,” Hinata said, bumping Kageyama's shoulder. They sat basking in the warmth of each other. Kageyama smiled at the use of the given name making him feel generous. “Sorry too, I should have talked to you.” Hinata hummed in response sitting up.

Hinata really was the sun Kageyama thought. Every ray of light beamed brightly in every direction. 

“You wanna go get some ice cream? I could really go for ice cream right now.” 

“Sure but we gotta jog there.” Kageyama bated, motioning to go change. Just like that, hot-cold, up-down, and they were normal again. In their relationship, no one outside would quite understand except for the two. 

_______________

The jog was nice. A change of pace for a once. It was unlike any of the other memories they shared in the past few months. No tension, no unspoken words. The air matched letting a cool breeze flow past them. Kageyama let the air tickle his cheeks, dust of pink set over the boy's faces as the bright sun shone casting down on the path.

Once they reached the ice cream place they took a seat. Hinata ordered for both of them with Hinata getting cookie dough and Kageyama going with mint.

“I don’t know how you can eat that! It’s just like licking toothpaste.” Hinata said, shaking his head. Kageyama smiled back, not making what would be a usual smart comment. Enjoying the setting taking in the sweet smells of the shop.

_______________

A few weeks later Kageyama received an email from the Adlers. Hinata scurried into the living room towards the setter. Brushing past the abandoned Kane in the corner. 

As the month went on Kageyama's sight got clearer. Having gone for a check-up last week the doctor informed the two that Kageyama was progressing greatly. Hinata let out a boisterous laugh, patting Kageyama back in encouragement. Kageyama grinned at his progression treating Hinata to ice cream. They then practiced more rounds in the park. 

“What they send you?” Hinata said, placing his mug on the coffee table. The edges are lined with dark wood. 

“Um,” Kageyama squinted, straining the headache that resulted whenever he let his ambition get the best of him. The read-aloud bot went off. Reading a very brief, very professional message wishing Kageyama well. The news somehow got out about Kageyama’s impairment. It could have been the lady downstairs that practically fainted when she learned two very famous Olympic players lived above her. Hinata had mentioned that the neighbors were quite noisy but he always offered a kind smile. 

Kageyama appreciated the sentiment tearing up at the small gesture. Hinata had a soft smile on his face as he sipped his tea. 

Later that night Kageyama lay curled up in his blanket watching his old highlights. His mind already gearing for him to play again in the fall. The email had sent a wave of encouragement to regain his sight and get back on the court. His fingers and toes tingled at the thought of getting back into the arena. Kageyama wanted to play against Hinata in the fall, again already having lining offers for teams. 

Kageyama listened to the match through his headphones so that he could concentrate on every aspect of the game he missed. Completely engrossed by the subject. Jotting down mental notes that could help him later. Hinata came in settling next to him. The two had been watching TV in Hinata’s room for a day instead of the couch. Honestly, it was a change of pace and allowed them to bask in the comfort of each other. They would often fall asleep like that, not really bothered, sleeping next to each other through the night. 

“Okay, so what are you most excited about?” Hinata turned in his burrito-wrapped blanket.

“What do you mean?” Obviously, Kageyama understood exactly what Hinata meant, he just loved to hear him say it. The glint in his eyes whenever he talked about the sport. 

“I mean what new weapon will you try with what you learned. You know thanks to me!” Hinata smirked. Kageyama turned to nudge Hinata for his last comment. 

“I don’t know yet, but I’m excited to try.” They laughed and radiated such light that the sun itself would feel threatened. The two men watched volleyball tapes all night going over new strategies. Their hearts filled with delight and their voices echoed through the halls caring waves of happiness. 

It was the most peaceful and content the two had felt in months. The time they spent together had not only allowed them to grow their friendship but work on all unsaid implications. The rope was dropped and the air was clear. All-new chapters were formed and ready to prosper. 

Hinata and Kageyama snored lightly against each other. The white sheets tangled between them like vines. It was like they were laying on a soft cloud floating in a sea of heaven. Only they were allowed on top. The sun and the moon resting together. 

_______________

The light pears through the sheer curtains that don’t provide enough shade from its brightness. But just as bright it’s the warm summer light that sturs Kageyama as he shifts in his bed. The dust particles dancing through the room. Against the red brick and white sheets and even on Kageyama’s pale skin. His curls fall against the pillow as he turns his body towards the sun-kissed boy. A light tan is formed from his adventures in Brazil. Kageyama lets a smile form on his lips

His cheeks burn with heat, from ‘the sun’ he would say, The light glowing, highlighting every freckle on the boys. It was a beautiful sight of blues and reds. The tents cast onto the walls filling the room with sightful hues. The curves of their structure took shape in the sheets followed by light snores. 

As Tobio settles a bright mist of orange looms in front of him. Oh how pretty the boy was, he displayed such gentleness and easiness. 

_It was absolutely beautiful; perfect_

Any morning anxiety subsided easily fizzing out when the setter peered at the boy. The presence of Shoyo being just enough to soothe Tobio back to sleep. 

_His light is absolutely mesmerizing._

Memorized by Hinata’s glow like he was in high school when that very same peer of light stayed frozen in the air. His face filled with such anticipation to hit the ball. Flying just in front of the sun falling gracefully against the court after his forceful smack. Just like that day, Hinata lay amongst what was the court now was the clouds. He rested just as bright as the sun, just as blinding. 

Tobio smiled not being the first smile he had shown that morning. He found himself smiling more and more each season he spent with Shoyo. Enjoying the confirmation that he was just there. 

The chase coming to an end. All the years and now months he spent trying to stay merely in front of the boy had paid off. His vision focused, settling over his nose. Tobio allows a soft ‘thank you’ to show in his smile. 

The mist glows against the ray of light emitting from the windows. A fuzzy tangerine ball that looks like a close-up of a star rests in front of the setter. 

_Hinata’s hair_

Kageyama similes warmly. 

With a low voice, he whispers, “Every day I wake up closer to the sun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this work as much as I did! ~ Let me know your thoughts and questions in the comments! Kudos are very much appreciated:) 
> 
> Thank you to @/hiya_class for being an inspiration
> 
> Also thank you to my beta readers your double cool <3
> 
> Come say hi: [linktree](https://linktr.ee/Faithte)
> 
> Thank you for reading  
> \- Faith


	2. Kageyama's letter to Hinata (Bonus)

Dear, Shoyo

As you know, I’m not the best at this. Having been ridiculed for expressing my emotions and expressing how I feel has always been something I am not comfortable with. I don’t know why I’m writing this really. I don't even know how I expect you to respond. Truthfully it’s probably more for me than for you. 

How do I say thank you Shoyo? What can I say that expresses a feeling, I have never felt before? The hope you bring. A light that never dims. It’s an experience I can’t even possibly put into words. I’m so proud of us, so proud of you. When we finally won, when we fought, I was so elated and filled with such fulfillment. We had worked so hard for so long. But then everything became clear; _You could keep running and never look back._

The fog vanished, and the clouds parted, letting me see the sun. I noticed how just bright you were. But you have always been that way. I thought that was it, that we had finally crossed the finish line without a clear winner. I wanted to run back, erase time and do it all over again. I wanted to feel that feeling forever, and the thought of losing it made my heartache. Was it selfish of me to want to hold on to you?

I’ll be honest; when I found out about Brazil, I was a little happier since it meant you would continue to grow, and get better, as well. I was relieved because what if you stayed, what would you be? Where would you be? I wasn’t sure it was with me. I had a little more time, another chance to play with you again. I’ve always known you by my side which is why I was scared of this change. I was scared of being left behind. I feared that all the things my grandfather taught me weren’t true. 

Nothing in this makes sense. But I can definitely say I understand now how your name can possibly mean ‘ _the sun’_

As time passed, I grew up. I learned to appreciate the little things you gave me. All the things you taught me. You gave me friendship and loyalty like no other. Hinata, you taught me what friendship truly means for the first time in my life. You shared your love for the game. You showed me your light can shine from miles away. Shoyo, you showed me that your light will shine even when I don't invite it. I feel the most light from you right next to me. _I loved it the best right next to me._ So excuse me for being a little selfish. 

I will never stop believing in you Shoyo. When you are prepared, I’m standing by, ready to start a new race with a more challenging goal. Thanks for everything you have done, even the things you haven’t yet done. Because it’s not over, because Sho, your light is boundless, neverending, infinite, and always welcomed. 

-Kags 

P.s 

_Thank you, each day is better than the last because I get the fleeting chance to get closer to the sun._


End file.
